Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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