ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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