there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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