Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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