My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
