he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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