"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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