why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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