I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
