i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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