It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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