3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize