I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
