Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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