Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
