True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
