he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
