We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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