She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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