ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
