he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
