So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
