there's paper in my vomit.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
