Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
