he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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