I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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