think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
