So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
