my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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