Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
