i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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