You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
