it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
