Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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