I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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