i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
