So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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