I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She needs sedatives and a leash
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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