it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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