I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
