Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
