I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
