Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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