Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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