I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
