You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
