Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
