just survived the first fart of the relationship.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
