We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize