you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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