I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
