problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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