420 ftw
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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