your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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