Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
