Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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