I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
