This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
