Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize