it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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